The Fruits of Success
"Sometimes when inspiration hits, you gotta pick up your pen and do something about it" - Itumeleng Chiloane
By the stroke of fate, I suppose, I felt very compelled to write this post as soon as I could. Perhaps this is for you today.
Often in life, we get into situations and emotional states of being, where we question our worth and our purpose. When I feel the need to stop myself from derailing my self-esteem, I use a metaphor that seems to be quite helpful. So the story goes like this:
Imagine the people of the world as fruits. Everyone. We are just all different kinds of fruit; some are apples, strawberries, oranges, bananas. A societal fruit salad if you wish. But unfortunately, us fruit like to compare ourselves to each other. We measure our worth by how we fair in relation to the works of others. Let's consider two fruits specifically for the moment, say oranges and bananas. Oranges produce juice when squeezed, that majority of people enjoy. Bananas, however, do not produce juice. Unfortunately, in this fruit bowl of a world, juice seems to be the order of the day. It is deemed "cool", or dare I say expected, to produce juice. So our banana tries to do just that. Through many difficult years of toil and struggle, our banana has managed to squeeze and squash itself so intensely, for the sole mission of making juice - so they can be just like the other oranges. However, in this process, our banana has run out of energy. It is all squashed out in a pile of mush. With no juice to show for it.
But wait! By some beautiful revelation (perhaps a message from the Universe, God or just some self-introspection), our banana realises: " Hey, you know what banana mash is really good for?? Banana Bread!". And so our friend, squashed and defeated at their lowest point in life, has found a way to truly become all that they can be! Yay.
While this may be a colourful metaphor, perhaps it is too ambiguous for some, so I shall try to relate this lesson into a more practically applicable message. Let us assume that our orange is person X while our banana is person Y. Person X makes juice and is very good at it. In this society, however, the juice is considered to be proof of success. Perhaps we can relate this to our society's equivalence of fame (or even wealth, a stable job, status and influence, etc). Person Y sees the juice (fame) that person X has made and realises that in order to considered as successful, they must do the same. So through many years of struggling (they all say its a part of the process for success), person Y gets nowhere with their juice endeavour. Instead, they find themselves in the later years of their life, defeated, underappreciated and unsuccessful in the eyes of the society they have been trying to please. Squashed. What happens next might be what some call the 'turning points' of their lives. Person Y realises that he can use his struggle, his mash, to make banana bread.
Let's just take a moment to appreciate the power of this message. Firstly, success in our society looks different on everybody. There is definitely no one-size-fits-all approach to life. Trying to be a banana but acting like an orange, no matter how many hours of "hard work" you put in, will not result in what you planned. But let's not be too hasty and just conclude that the take-home message is just " don't try to be someone you're not" because that's not the lesson. It could be a possible lesson.... if we had the ability to change our past mistakes, but we don't have a do-over button. Instead, the true lesson is that "we don't know the blueprint beforehand, so we're bound to take wrong turns". This is inevitable because genuinely, none of us knows what the heck we're doing in life. At any point really. So instead, we must realise that while we might make some questionable decisions (like wanting to become a juice-making banana), the struggle - the squashing - is still necessary. Many people wonder why there need to be hardships in life, and it is precisely for the reason given in this metaphor. Without that struggle, there would have been no mash. And without the mash, we could not have made the banana bread.
But no, we don't all have to go in the wrong direction before we get it right (for example, we could have made banana bread by adding a whole banana to the mixing bowl from the start instead of mash. But inevitably the mixture would still have to be mixed and the bananas would still end up being squashed). Thus struggle is inevitable to truly produce something new. There needs to be transformation. Even in the case of the orange. There still needs to be pressure in order to produce juice (and equivalently when it comes to fame).
Thus, Lesson #1 is: Struggle is an inevitable part of life. We don't have the blueprints, so we don't really know what form it will come in, however, the most important part is that it is not the end of our journey.
Secondly, we must realise that one of the biggest factors that caused the problem in the first place, is the perception of success in society. If not for that, person Y would have known to spend their time researching ways to be the best banana bread ever, as opposed to being the best juice. Too often (especially with the increased availability of information through social media) we see images, hear songs and read books of people that want to tell us their success stories. We are quick to use them as a strict manual to abide by in order to be successful. This mindset is our fault as a society, and it is a culture we need to change. It starts with each and every one of us breaking those barriers of "perceived success" and announcing your own individual success. Fullstop. So yes, a stable 9-5 job maybe your idea of success that you strive for because variability is something you don't enjoy. That's a completely valid form of success. Fame is a valid form of success. Wealth is a valid form of success. Heck, a flexible job, privacy out of the public eye and simple living are all valid forms of success too.
So we now have Lesson #2: Redefine your own individual success. Dismantle societal perceptions of what it means to be successful.
This point actually brings us to lesson three. While we do get to choose what our success stories will be, we must be careful not to equate success and worth. Worth is not a product of our success. Rather success is a product of us realising our worth. A banana who defines their worth by their ability to make juice will always feel worthless. But a banana who realises that everybody already has orange juice but might want some banana bread to go with it realises their worth. Why? Because they understand that you can't make banana bread without bananas. They understand that bananas do have worth, just not in the way they thought initially. In realising their power, they are thus able to make their banana bread. And thus similarly for us. We first need to realise how valuable we are for our purpose before we can generate success. Not the other way around.
Lesson #3: Success does not dictate our worth, but rather our value (which is already within us at this very moment) is actually what allows us to become successful.
So all this being said, I hope we can n/leave here feeling lighter and more optimistic about life because it truly is what we make it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the stroke of fate, I suppose, I felt very compelled to write this post as soon as I could. Perhaps this is for you today.
Often in life, we get into situations and emotional states of being, where we question our worth and our purpose. When I feel the need to stop myself from derailing my self-esteem, I use a metaphor that seems to be quite helpful. So the story goes like this:
Imagine the people of the world as fruits. Everyone. We are just all different kinds of fruit; some are apples, strawberries, oranges, bananas. A societal fruit salad if you wish. But unfortunately, us fruit like to compare ourselves to each other. We measure our worth by how we fair in relation to the works of others. Let's consider two fruits specifically for the moment, say oranges and bananas. Oranges produce juice when squeezed, that majority of people enjoy. Bananas, however, do not produce juice. Unfortunately, in this fruit bowl of a world, juice seems to be the order of the day. It is deemed "cool", or dare I say expected, to produce juice. So our banana tries to do just that. Through many difficult years of toil and struggle, our banana has managed to squeeze and squash itself so intensely, for the sole mission of making juice - so they can be just like the other oranges. However, in this process, our banana has run out of energy. It is all squashed out in a pile of mush. With no juice to show for it.
But wait! By some beautiful revelation (perhaps a message from the Universe, God or just some self-introspection), our banana realises: " Hey, you know what banana mash is really good for?? Banana Bread!". And so our friend, squashed and defeated at their lowest point in life, has found a way to truly become all that they can be! Yay.
While this may be a colourful metaphor, perhaps it is too ambiguous for some, so I shall try to relate this lesson into a more practically applicable message. Let us assume that our orange is person X while our banana is person Y. Person X makes juice and is very good at it. In this society, however, the juice is considered to be proof of success. Perhaps we can relate this to our society's equivalence of fame (or even wealth, a stable job, status and influence, etc). Person Y sees the juice (fame) that person X has made and realises that in order to considered as successful, they must do the same. So through many years of struggling (they all say its a part of the process for success), person Y gets nowhere with their juice endeavour. Instead, they find themselves in the later years of their life, defeated, underappreciated and unsuccessful in the eyes of the society they have been trying to please. Squashed. What happens next might be what some call the 'turning points' of their lives. Person Y realises that he can use his struggle, his mash, to make banana bread.
Let's just take a moment to appreciate the power of this message. Firstly, success in our society looks different on everybody. There is definitely no one-size-fits-all approach to life. Trying to be a banana but acting like an orange, no matter how many hours of "hard work" you put in, will not result in what you planned. But let's not be too hasty and just conclude that the take-home message is just " don't try to be someone you're not" because that's not the lesson. It could be a possible lesson.... if we had the ability to change our past mistakes, but we don't have a do-over button. Instead, the true lesson is that "we don't know the blueprint beforehand, so we're bound to take wrong turns". This is inevitable because genuinely, none of us knows what the heck we're doing in life. At any point really. So instead, we must realise that while we might make some questionable decisions (like wanting to become a juice-making banana), the struggle - the squashing - is still necessary. Many people wonder why there need to be hardships in life, and it is precisely for the reason given in this metaphor. Without that struggle, there would have been no mash. And without the mash, we could not have made the banana bread.
But no, we don't all have to go in the wrong direction before we get it right (for example, we could have made banana bread by adding a whole banana to the mixing bowl from the start instead of mash. But inevitably the mixture would still have to be mixed and the bananas would still end up being squashed). Thus struggle is inevitable to truly produce something new. There needs to be transformation. Even in the case of the orange. There still needs to be pressure in order to produce juice (and equivalently when it comes to fame).
Thus, Lesson #1 is: Struggle is an inevitable part of life. We don't have the blueprints, so we don't really know what form it will come in, however, the most important part is that it is not the end of our journey.
Secondly, we must realise that one of the biggest factors that caused the problem in the first place, is the perception of success in society. If not for that, person Y would have known to spend their time researching ways to be the best banana bread ever, as opposed to being the best juice. Too often (especially with the increased availability of information through social media) we see images, hear songs and read books of people that want to tell us their success stories. We are quick to use them as a strict manual to abide by in order to be successful. This mindset is our fault as a society, and it is a culture we need to change. It starts with each and every one of us breaking those barriers of "perceived success" and announcing your own individual success. Fullstop. So yes, a stable 9-5 job maybe your idea of success that you strive for because variability is something you don't enjoy. That's a completely valid form of success. Fame is a valid form of success. Wealth is a valid form of success. Heck, a flexible job, privacy out of the public eye and simple living are all valid forms of success too.
So we now have Lesson #2: Redefine your own individual success. Dismantle societal perceptions of what it means to be successful.
This point actually brings us to lesson three. While we do get to choose what our success stories will be, we must be careful not to equate success and worth. Worth is not a product of our success. Rather success is a product of us realising our worth. A banana who defines their worth by their ability to make juice will always feel worthless. But a banana who realises that everybody already has orange juice but might want some banana bread to go with it realises their worth. Why? Because they understand that you can't make banana bread without bananas. They understand that bananas do have worth, just not in the way they thought initially. In realising their power, they are thus able to make their banana bread. And thus similarly for us. We first need to realise how valuable we are for our purpose before we can generate success. Not the other way around.
Lesson #3: Success does not dictate our worth, but rather our value (which is already within us at this very moment) is actually what allows us to become successful.
So all this being said, I hope we can n/leave here feeling lighter and more optimistic about life because it truly is what we make it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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